he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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