thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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