I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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