If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
