If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
my being single is dangerous.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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