Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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