She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
