she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
