She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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