there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
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she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
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Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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