Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
