Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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