That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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