so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
