when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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