We're like a lot better than the average bears
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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