Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
