Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
