I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
