What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
