so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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