is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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