I heard we made out
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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