somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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