No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
