I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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