I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
