Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
