Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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