my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
