I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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