My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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