So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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