Your mouth is God's brothel.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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