wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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