well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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