we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Its about making memories worth repressing
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
