You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
