"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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