So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
