U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
