Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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