If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
You ate ashes out of my bong
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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