My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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