Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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