I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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