I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
