There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
