I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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