i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
