somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
