i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
