My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
