I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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