I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
one might say we're banned from that church
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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