we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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