just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
