She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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